you can get sexually assaulted if you arent clear about what you want. a hand in your hair, then undoing your buttons, under your shirt. he reaches into your pants and you kindaaa maybe (?) don't want this, your legs clench, but maybe you're unsure because it's new, and hey if you're scared of new things will you ever do anything? so you reach for him too, keep escalating on autopilot as you wallow in your indecision. he asks you if you want this and you nod your head yes yes yes. it's easier to go with the flow. cutting it off requres an explicit decision.
lines are blurry. it's okay to say you're unsure.
[ note: i don't blame you. i've had a similar experience w multiple (n>=3) ppl. i'm writing this as a "thing laura didnt do well in the past and would benefit from doing better in the future." ]