"Oh, if it was an event, then it's ok."
The boldness to declare, this is what i believe in, this is why i believe it, and stand your ground. like yes, it would be easier soften your beliefs little, gap year means i'll go to college next year instead of "fuck college," but i want to be able to say, hey dad, i am at a social event, yes, i can leave an hour early and be home at 8, but i want to naturally leave when everyone else leaves, and go home with everyone else. it's still bright outside when i got on the subway, i got indoors before it was dark, im with other people, so i think it's safe.
i want to be able to live my life not thinking back of my mind "oh i can't go to sigil's party bc i'll be home too late and parents won't like it."
for the past wtv years, i make decisions based on fear, based on what parents would think. i don't wanna have this mindset anymore.